Wednesday, June 15, 2011

This is so uncool


I think about is the precariousness of human existence, the cycles of life, time, place and transformation. Like David Nash, I believe that everything in the world moves toward decay. STOP!
Okay, that sounds great, professional, and real cool. But the truth is making these sculptures is scary. I don’t have a direction to go in. I love playing with fire. All the associations of fire- from Prometheus, to the Holy Spirit coming down as tongues of fire, witches being burned, campfires, and romantic candle light- are exhilarating and enticing. These feelings keep me coming back to my torch and the trees. Staring at the black abyss when the fire has cooled and witnessing the changes makes my imagination sparkle. Then there are the power tools. Whoa… And the huge massiveness of these five-foot trunks! I am on overload here.
one of three logs 
But honestly, these large sculptures are so new to me. It takes so much courage for me to say I don’t know where I am going with these. I haven’t a clue. I feel awkward and ashamed writing that. Like I should have the answers. The only answer is I love playing with fire and power tools. Sometimes that is enough. I keep telling myself I must be a brave girl and try something new or risk being un-innovative, predictable and boring. So I keep working with the trees, fire and chainsaws and I scream to  the demons of self doubt to shut up. Blindly charging forth without a predetermined course of action. Just working intuitively. Letting my head listen to my heart instead of the other way around.  Brene Brown wrote on her blog  "Effort + the courage to show up = enough." So here I am… showing up to talk about my work.  Accepting that fact that these hunks of dead wood may be something or nothing, but just respecting the journey.

2 comments:

  1. "It takes so much courage for me to say I don’t know where I am going with these. I haven’t a clue. I feel awkward and ashamed writing that. Like I should have the answers." There is no shame in not having the answers. Your art will reveal itself through your process. Your are brave and innovative! And interesting! You give me food for thought and inspiration. Those are not small gifts, my friend.
    I love what you are doing here and look forward to reading more.
    Terri

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  2. Thank you for your words of encouragement! It is good to know your feedback. This summer should really heat up as I finish grad school!

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