Tuesday, June 12, 2012

grief

Saturday evening, we celebrated life by having dinner with my husband's family. His sister and her husband are in the from the  opposite coast. The evening was lovely. Lots of food, wine, margaritas, an evening camp fire. My husband's brother came by - his lives close to us.  His stay was brief because his wife is very ill and was unable to make the party. He needed to get back to take care of her. As he was leaving, I asked if he wanted some take home food for his love. He declined. Her illness makes her appetite nearly nonexistent. As he left  the kitchen, I said "why are you leaving without a kiss - I don't know when I will see you again." I kissed him good bye.

Sunday evening, he was driving home from visiting his grandchildren with his wife. He pulled over to the side of the road, had a massive heart attack and died. His heart was not strong - he was under a doctor's care for his heart. His death came a shock because of the quickness, but his passing did not. We knew he was on borrowed time - but aren't we all?

Since that time, about 6:30 Sunday, I have been a witness to terrible grief. A family in crisis with grief. My husband's grief of losing his best friend. My own grief. Today, I am spending the afternoon  scrubbing my house. Washing walls, moving furniture, vacuuming everything, hand mopping floors. I burned the left overs from Saturday night dinner. I could no longer stand to smell the food from that evening. A lavender candle burns now to cleanse this air that occupies my house.


1 comment:

  1. Exquisitely expressed but painful to read. A reminder of our brief time here and to cherish those we have but still Absolutely heartbreaking. My thoughts are with you and your family right now.

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