Friday, April 24, 2015

Putting solopreneurship into perspective

I don't often write from the heart, however, it seems appropriate today. 

Something always amazing happens when you take a leap of faith and begin to believe in dreams and your destiny. I find guidance and inspiration in reading poetry, particularly John O'Donahue's words. He wrote: “Your soul knows the geography of your destiny. Your soul alone has the map of your future, therefore you can trust this indirect, oblique side of yourself. If you do, it will take you where you need to go, but more important it will teach you a kindness of rhythm in your journey.” 2015 began at the Vermont Studio Center. Something about being in the snowy woodland hills of Vermont changed me.  The solitude made me think me of how life should be. My husband and I decided together that I we would live on his income and I would "try to make it" as an artist. 

In grad school, my peers and I talked about living everyday as an artist without "the day job." We imagined how cool and adventurous that would be - a dream come true. But to make this happen,  I had to take a huge leap of faith to try to "make it" as an artist.  I took the risk- and I mean I risked everything by making this decision. It was like one day I said, "fuck it - let's do this." I  sacrificed a stable paycheck,  broke open my fears, hopes and anxieties, overturned my ideas of who I was  and what I could be capable of, and learned to accept failures and successes equally. I gave up my beloved routines that kept me sane and replaced routines with  different daily adventures (and set backs) everyday. I made a promise to myself and my husband that I would try to live as authentically and passionately as I could for a year. Living passionately is not easy - just read what Justine Musk wrote about passion: Passion has an edge of war. It points to what we want so much that we’re afraid to want it. The ambiguity of hope. The fear of not getting. The fear of getting. 

But these reflections happen after you have an ah-ha moment. Something happened that gave me pause to step out my path and look back at how far that I have come.  Somewhere along the way, I read this really ironic sentence on a blog. It stopped me dead in my tracks and provided that "ah-ha" moment. You have a call at 2pm and your voice cracks … because it’s the first time you talked out loud that day. (Thank goodness it’s not a video chat, because… hair.) This is so true! (for more of these insights click here).  My days are spent in the studio working or in the office managing stuff and writing. I am alone during the day - well, the cats and dog are usually nearby. This little insight about being a solopreneur put everything into perspective- I seriously related to the writer with that experience. It made me pause and give myself some encouragement that maybe my soul's gps is on track, even though it is not easy. 

1 comment:

  1. Laura,

    I'm so proud of you! You are so brave.You are truly an inspiration to us all.

    Love you! Kristin